Yeah… so for those that hadn’t heard or otherwise might have been wondering where I’ve been, a while back I had an encounter with a motorcycle. I was walking home after a trip to the grocery and as I crossed the street near the complex where I live, a guy ran me over going about 50 KPH. He was trying to outrun an oncoming rain storm and later admitted he never saw me. I had a concussion, a bruised kidney, three broken ribs and some screws were torn loose from a previous knee surgery. Feel free to insert your “screws loose” jokes in the comments section.
Writing about the accident has, for some reason, been a challenge for me. I wanted to write about it, hoping that it might somehow be cathartic. You see, as I was lying there on the pavement in the rain, I was afraid. I seriously thought I might be in real trouble. Then, and for a long time afterward, I questioned everything. I wanted to be with my children and I wanted to be anywhere else other than Liuzhou, China. I think maybe for the first time in my life I felt my mortality and I realized I wasn’t ready. Nope, not at all prepared. After waking up somewhere around 5:30 on the afternoon of April 16th, I lost myself for a while. For months afterward I wasn’t me. I couldn’t find pleasure in the everyday miracle of life. I didn’t want to talk to anybody and I certainly didn’t want to teach. I didn’t pick up my camera for months, got no exercise, ate whatever and whenever I wanted and overall was pretty much impossible to be around. I’d had a tough year physically. There was the heart attack, bouts with kidney stones and some other age related health issues had begun popping up. I’d battled on through it all, following doctor’s orders with a fair amount of success and then… the accident. It’s true what they say, it sucks getting old and let me tell you I was really giving it the “why me?” routine. I mean, I seriously could’ve given Job a run for his money.
Life is strange. We evolve. We change. We adapt. We repair. I struggle some days but a wholly full recovery looks likely. I still have some occasional vertigo and I’ll have to have the knee surgically repaired again but it certainly could have so much worse. So yeah, physically, emotionally and spiritually, I feel like I’m back on-course. That’s due in no short measure to my family and friends, who were patient and encouraging, generous with their prayers and at times, even harsh when they needed to be. If you offered up a prayer or sent me a note or sent positive vibes or made a phone call or spent even the briefest moment listening to me whine, I am grateful to you. While I am doing better, I’ll add that I would really, really, like to have a non-eventful summer health-wise.
So, now I’m in the midst of the summer break. I have a trip planned to photograph Inner Mongolia and a trip to Shenzhen and Hong Kong are in the works as well. I am looking forward to seeing old friends and meeting some people face to face for the first time. Hopefully, I’ll get back on track and loose some weight and lower my blood pressure and improve my health in general. I should have some new photos up here soon as well. I also hope to finally have the website re-developed and moved to my own domain within the next month or so. I’ll try and get back into a routine and touch base as often as I can.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you with what is admittedly a rather eclectic mix of images from February. Yeah. That’s how far behind I am with my processing.
Fie ‘ E Lu
Girl In The Rain I
Until next time… this is a grateful me… saying thanks.